so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
