Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
