ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
only you would photoshop your dick
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
