Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
