I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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