U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
