Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
