So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He better not be in your backpack
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
