i don't plan on having that self control this summer
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
