Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
