Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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