I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
