Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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