it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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