I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
