He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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