she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
