DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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