Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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