More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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