I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
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