Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
and you fell through a lawn chair
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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