Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
