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Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You need Xanax blowdarts
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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