we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
