somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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