i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
