Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
