the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
