What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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