I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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