Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
