I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
3pm strippers are depressing
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Randomize
