I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize