singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
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