It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just want to make out with him forever
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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