brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My first STD was from a foam party
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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