My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
