i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
