Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
