didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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