Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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