some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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