Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
