Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
