So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
this just has baby written all over it
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
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