I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
