you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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