I think i peed on brittanys purse
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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