She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
