I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
my liver is dry heaving
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
