shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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