thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
