I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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