Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
